I’ m not only like to read all those book related to psychology and I also like to read self- help or motivational book (and seriously it help me a lot). Personally, I also like philosophy so I will also read some spiritual book that can give me some insight. Although I’m not a Christian but some time the book I read will quote some sentence from the Bible and I also like it because it like philosophy that can give me some insight. Recently, I just impulsively bought a Chinese translation book called The Power of Now 当下的力量>> by Eckhart Tolle. It was a spiritual book and I just start reading few pages. I feel what he write was quite true also and I feel had some sort of difficult to practice… Nowadays, I obviously jump to read different kind of book at a time during a month period after graduate. Like previously when I read Dale Carnegies book, I also jump to read another Chinese book that regarding the body language. Last few days, I did jump and read a few page of book that are related to Buddhism and I also finish a book called “the way to Happiness” (I guess so if not mistake) at library that related to some monk and actress include Jet Le that review their view of Buddhism. I found the meaning that had written and share by them was quite meaningful and I can learn from it that related to my recently crush maybe (Haha… what ever).

I had told at my previous writing regarding a girl that I had meet just only 4 or 5 week before I graduate. I did meet her few times during the 4 week and few days before finish final exam. I still remember I had written that I was notices this girl when I at Y3S2 during my short semester….Fire exit practice….. But maybe I was too busy I had not met her so obviously during my last year last semester last 4 to 5 weeks. Perhaps like what I giving to this title, maybe it just a crush… but who know future things. But back to reality, I had to accept it… maybe the time haven’t come….

I had read a sentence that had share the Buddhism view by a Dalai Lama name Singa 盛噶仁波切. The sentence was written like this:

Blind heart/Blind passion/Blind love like the flower inside the mirror

(痴心犹如镜花),

Cannot catch; cannot touch

(抓不到摸不到)

Is easy to break apart when touched

(一触即破)

Cannot get it back

(不复可得)

In Buddhism view “Because of blind heart, we cannot understand the truth, not yet justice, cannot understand karma, it was just an impulsive emotion.”

“人因痴心,不明真理,不尚正义,不知因果,仅凭情绪冲动”

So…

Love, what is love? Love her beautiful face? Love his brilliance? Love the innocent smile or his honestly? Did I really understand what love is? Perhaps I didn’t know that and perhaps I just can’t differential between the feelings of love and like. Should I perverse toward all this?

In Buddhism, perverse (执著) always explain in more positive manner and the attitude that describe toward perverse always moving forward because we cannot predict the future, outcome and result. Even we cannot get the outcome or result that we expected or desirable and yet we not need to impose because in this world, everything had causes and effect. If we do to impose, not only we can’t be happiness, furthermore, it was human greedy, desire that make destructive. Once again, what I read from the book that explain the true meaning of no perverse (不执著) in Buddhism was actually request human to keeping a peaceful mind and attitude and the good attitude of no perverse can practice through this modern said “No matter what the result/outcome is, the process is important”. I quite agree with this meaning because every time after the outcome I get what I remember the most was the process that I had go through and the enjoyment of the outcome was so fast that can vanish in my mind. Maybe I should remember the process — the days I meet her, the day I saw her, the day I talk to her because although it may just a crush but it did make up a piece of memory in my life.

Maybe the time haven’t come… maybe it just a crush….who know? Only Heaven know… only God know… or maybe I should put down… In Buddhism perspective, Can’t put down actually come from greedy, it was perverse and it was perverse toward enjoyment. Put down (放下) is not mean that doing nothing, thinking nothing and everything is emptiness. Buddhism explain that Emptiness (空) was mean that everything was not always still, everything was changeable, everything was meaningful & everything should be appreciated. When I read this statement, I know that may this just a crush and maybe is just a beginning. Everything was not always still… YA… I can feels it and I experience it now. The crush… our met just a few weeks… the opportunity also not always there. Everything was changeable… Mmm I agree also because if I think in another way everything can change if u makes your effort and maybe one day I can meet her again somehow I didn’t know yet and maybe we can be a couples (who know…). And I didn’t forget that changeable here also include that my feeling toward her also may change if it just a crush. Everything was meaningful…. I believe that I can notice the exiting of her was some sort of fate or destiny (maybe…). The process…. I mean the days I could saw her, talk to her was meaningful. Although she appear in my life just like a ‘crush’, a wind that blowing here and blowing away just like that but it already become a meaningful piece of my life puzzle. Everything should be appreciated…. I should appreciate the opportunity that the God had given to me… I mean the opportunity to notice her exiting, the opportunity to saw and met her in my last few weeks before I graduate and also the opportunity to talk to her. Put Down in Buddhism view was means don’t constraint, don’t mean, recognize and understand everything clearly & don’t perverse. Not perverse will bring no suffering and it will not attracted by desire. This was the true meaning of put down whereas it can help us to reach a peaceful mind state.